Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Alone

Struggling away at my 23 in-progress posts, I realized that I had real news:

I'm ALONE. COMPLETELY alone. All three children are on a 5-day vacation with their grandparents 630 kilometers away from here!!

I can wake up whenever I want (which, unfortunately, is still 6:30am; old habits die hard), take a shower for as long as I want (which can be VERRRY long, hours even), wander aimlessly around town at 12 noon, have wine with lunch - and be able to enjoy it, walk out of the apartment to: get something from the cellar, buy wine next door (it's a wine shop, no worries), or just sit on the stairs if want, just like that.

Right. I don't know what to do with my time.

But that doesn't matter. It's MINE. For 3 years, 9 months and 29 days I haven't had time that belonged solely to me. And the last, let's say, 2 years and 2 months (counting the pregnancy in this one) have been fucking demanding on the time that used to be mine.

Don't get me wrong. I love the shit out of those kids. Pretty much every 1.7 minutes I think about one or all of them (happily these thoughts aren't bound to juice retrieval, diaper changing, yelling or similar). We skyped yesterday and it was great to see them. Aidyn launched himself at the computer (he really loves me). Apparently the grandparents had all three of them sitting picturesquely in front of the camera while their camera froze. Bummer. But it was fun and there were no tears here or there.

Let's face it, we all love each other and we're all enjoying our separate vacations. They get cookies every afternoon and Tractor Tom every evening and I get freedom. Oh, right, and don't forget the quality time with spouse. We went to a crêperie last night at the time we're usually tiptoeing down the hallway to keep the sleepers sleeping. And the night before we went to rent a movie from the 24-hour place, which we haven't done since...well, for almost 4 years. We can turn up the volume! Ignore the cat bouncing onto the door to get out in the middle of the night! Well, no, I can't. I am still getting up to threaten him with bodily harm and, finally, feed him.

Oh well. Life isn't perfect. You can't always get what you want, but sometimes, you get what you need. Like Mick sang.

3 comments:

msinwind said...

I read your stuff all the time - I like reading about someone else's life - takes me away from mine, ya know?
Marlene

Linz said...

I love it - and am glad for this gift of time you're getting!

Twintensity said...

AWESOME! Those ten days I took ALONE with my Gma in Florida last February were INCREDIBLE! I didn't miss the kids AT ALL - they were with Damon so I knew they were fine and I had SO MUCH FUN jogging on the beach in the mornings, having real meals with my Gma and shopping with my aunt, going on nature walks with my uncle. I could have stayed a few days longer!


Then there was the time we sent the older two to the USA for A MONTH! THEY LOVED IT - with THEIR Gma and her pool. ANd I ONLY had two 3 year old - it was SO relaxing!

All of which goes to say that I LOVE the time with my kids -
but that time away from them is an awesome battery recharge!

No worries Claire - by the time they are four they take care of themselves! Really. Christine