- Ahhh! Ahhh!
- I'm so hungry! It feels like my stomach is slowly disintegrating due to an overabundance of acid. But all I can say is 'ahhh!'
- Look! She's getting the spoon. And she's going to the frig. We should get something soon.
- Yeah at least this time she didn't just put us in these chairs and leave us here.
- Well, you know, all she hears is 'ahhh!' so I imagine it's hard to tell what we're saying. Even I don't know what I'm crying about sometimes!
- I've started chewing on her chin between screams when she picks me up. That's a clear sign of hunger, I'd say.
- Good idea! I'll have to try that. Ahhh! Where's the goddamn food?! How long does it take to heat up a bowl of carrots?
- She's still making milk to go with it, so it takes longer. I was drinking it just to make her happy but I think maybe this time I'll pass. Eventually she'll get the picture. We don't want milk, just FOOD!
- Okay! Here she comes. She's sitting down...Hey wait! ME FIRST! Aahhh!
- Ahhh! One spoon?! Come on! I said I was HUNGRY!
- Ahhh! I've got carrot stuck in my throat! Drink! I need a drink! NO! No more carrot. Drink!
- Oh yeah. I love this orange juice. Way better than water.
- Where the hell is MY orange juice? Ahh!
- Damn, it's hard to keep this stuff in my mouth. My tongue just keeps rolling it out the front.
- I know! Open your mouth a little wider. That helps.
- Hey, lady, give me that spoon. I'm taking over. GIVE-ME-THAT-SPOON. Ahh!
- No! Don't wipe him off! Feed ME! He doesn't care if he's got carrots all over his hands and up his nose!
- Of course I care. But I'd rather eat. And SOMEONE needs to take over that spoon. She really doesn't know her business.
- Okay. I think I'm about done. I'm feeling very heavy...and sticky. How about another drink? No, bleh, bleh, no more food. Drink. YES. Thank you.
- And now the milk...No thanks, lady, I'm done.
- Yeah, I don't want any milk, either.
- Now what do we do? She's looking at us like she doesn't know what to do..
- I don't know...Smile at her? That usually works.
- Okay!
Mom: Hey my happy babies! Are you done?
3 comments:
Oh yeah. Forgot about feeding time! ONE spoon definitely. THE BOOKS say two - to prevent the spread of germs. Yeah right. You know, I never actually thought about what the kids were thinking - I was too busy powershovelling food into one mouth after the other as fast as I could. I do remember that it reminded me of baby birds. Only messier. And people watching in sheer amazement - and terror. Noone REALLY wanted to know HOW MUCH harder I was having it with two. Wow. Believe it or not, you DO forget that huge amount of sheer PHYSICAL labor that goes into the first two years. Never mind the mental exhaustion and brain drain. I'm off to chase mine around the house with a baseball bat - really - I'm the bad fairy! Ooh looky there - they both took their clothes off while I was writing. Oh well. ENJOY!
All I can say is I love it.
And your style and voice, I can hear you saying this to me, which makes it all the more entertaining and personal.
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