A reminder

I was walking to the train station all by myself yesterday evening (Gaetan was watching Chloé so that I could go to a reading organized by a member of the writers group - we've tried Chloé at readings and the two just don't mix) and I was thinking how easy it was to be alone. No pushing, carrying, dragging, chasing, explaining, worrying. Just walking. My little messenger bag over my shoulder instead of three bags with diapers, juice, cookies, fruit, and extra clothes (actually I usually forget the extra clothes, and luckily we rarely ;-) need them).

Then I thought how cowardly it is to not have children. To not be up to the challenge of changing your life. To stay in your safe bubble of monotony and predictability. Because having children means relinquishing control, accepting that you're not the only force directing your life.

In our double-income-no-kids world, that's a scary thought.

But I can tell you that letting go can also be fun. Yeah, you're chasing and carrying and explaining, but you're also seeing the world reinvented. And when you're struggling to get home, repeatedly calling, "No! This way!" and you turn and see her walk up and down two steps all by herself and then grin proudly at you, you realize that great things can happen while you weren't getting what you wanted.