Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Now is now

I've been reading a lot about giving birth lately, and I find it funny to hear again and again how disappointed women are to not be able to give birth "naturally" (and this refers to everything from painkillers or epidural to induction to c-section). A new opportunity for disappointment with twins is to not have the chance to bond with the first baby before the second one comes (or even if the second one isn't imminently on the way, and the doctor takes the first quickly to do all the necessary health checks).

And I have to say, "Huh?!" I'm sure it's lovely to have that first bonding session, to attempt nursing, to just check each other out, but isn't the health and safety of the baby priority? I had my first by c-section and although they were so thoughtful as to put her up next to my head for about 10 seconds, I didn't see her again for 2 hours. And we seem to have bonded alright. Nursing went fine. So I have to say that although those first few minutes can be an emotional and relaxing time, they are a luxury that you may not get depending on the circumstances.

Women should be careful of disappointment because it can easily lead to depression. If the birth hasn't gone as you expected, it's important to accept the outcome and enjoy your baby as you would if you'd pushed him out yourself. It's not "unnatural" birth. It's modern. Live in the now. We're lucky to have so many possibilities to get through this extreme situation without (or with very limited) danger to us and our babies.


Twintensity said...

Well said. We tend to think too much. A healthy baby - or two - is all that matters. In our case, the doctors were pissed that Damon didn't want to cut the cord on Aidan. All we were thinking was, get one with it, there's another one in there. Priority is the babies. You have plenty of time for bonding ALL NIGHT LONG in the months and years ahead!

Twintensity said...

WOW! just realized you wrote this BEFORE giving birth to Aiden and Mia. Makes you really think, huh.

RC said...

I know! I'll have to write another post based on personal experience ;-)

But I really do think we expect too much and set ourselves up for disappointment. Not that we should expect the worst - never! - but we've got to try to work with what we get instead of wishing for some ideal we read about in a book.

Twintensity said...

My sister gave birth on Feb 6 in under an hour after feeling some slight belly twinges all day. Makes you really want to hurt her doesn't it?!

RC said...

Unbelievable!! In the hospital there was a girl in my room who at 37 weeks was under observation because of high blood pressure. Two days after I left, she had her baby after an hour and a half of labor. And left three days later. I was speechless.