She asks herself this question as she wipes black streaks from her eyes onto a tissue.
Is it the music? Or the weather? Or the loneliness? Really she's not lonely; she went for a walk with a friend just this morning, and had a friend over for the afternoon yesterday.
But I use the term "friend" loosely.
What is a "friend"? Someone you know? Someone you care about? Someone you tell everything? Someone who cares about the everything in your life? Someone who thinks like you? Someone you have a history with? Someone you have a future with?
Damn good questions.
Her "best" friend has almost nothing in common with her, but has the history. Her other friends are all new - no history, but a connection of presence. The baby, the time, the location. But who can she talk to?
No one.
That's why we cultivate long relationships. To build something stronger than the everyday bullshit.
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